Playing with Facial Hair

One of the benefits of having a Y chromosome (and Mediterranean heritage) is the ability to change your very visage and appearance with a little time and persistence; i.e. facial hair.

Over the last week of my vacation, I got lazy. Laziness eventually turned into curiosity and I grew out a weeks worth of stubble to make a Vacation Beard (TM) as seen in a previous post.

Vacation Beard of the Mighty (+1 Charisma, +3 Manliness)
However, the downside to that is itchiness. Also a downside, prickling your loved ones when going in for a kiss. Therefore, I have removed said beard, but not before having a little fun. I shall now share said fun.

First up: creepy 70s mustache. If this doesn't say porn star, I don't know what does. Note the toilet paper on the chin. Vacation beards, you see, refuse to go without a fight. THEY WILL HAVE BLOOD! This one was no exception.

"Did someone order a pizza? You wanted extra sausage? I'll give you extra sausage."

(porn music: *brown-chicken-brown-cow*)

With a little creativity, a small set of scissors, some mascara (don't ask me why it was readily available...), and French hat I bought in Paris a few years ago I have a classic pencil mustache. Voila! C'est tres chic, no? No. No it is not.

"Bonjour! Je suis le inspector! Le inspector Clouseau. Fromage?"

Awww, here's the little weirdo that I am, all babyfaced and presentable. I think I look much dorkier without facial hair and I dig that. Now to get a haircut to clean up that moptop.

"Man, I love 20 sided dice."

I have the oddest facial hair though. It grows in blond around my mouth, a patch of black at my chin, then auburn red everywhere else. If I were a pirate I could be TriBeard! Argh! My only lament is not having tried the Hitler-stache. Nothing says funny like a Hitler-stache.